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Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Nude Night at the Gay Bathhouse/Sauna

Sixty or more guys of all ages, totally naked in a confined area, all seeking unashamed hot sex. That's what a Nude Night (or afternoon) at a gay bathhouse/sauna is like. At other times, modesty prevails as men on the hunt wear towels to hide their sexual assets. But at towel-less sessions everything is on display for all to view, consider and then if interested, chase after. Erections, thick cocks, shy cocks, uncut cocks, shaved pubes, hairy butts - they're all on display - and more.

At these events it's all about sex and often that means anonymous group sex. It's NOT an occasion for slow sex sessions with perhaps a conversation included. No! It's about getting off now, with as many guys as you care to share, about having physical contact and insertion without caring too much about who, what or why. When there's an orifice, a mouth, a penis available for use, then go with it.

It's a very friendly event as guys are there because of their sexual and naked confidence. They want to do as gay men have done for generations and that is have multiple, abandoned, anonymous and pleasurable group sex with one another in the time honored tradition. It's all masculine testosterone driven and it's all about satisfying the sex drive, the frustrations of relationships (both male and female) and the lack of male intimacy and bonding that pervades so many men's lives. It's about giving, receiving and enjoying without making judgement. There's precious few other places where naked men can bond in such an open display of masculinity and camaraderie of like-minds.

There's the crowded corridors where you can brush past other naked guys, touch and smile, make eye and verbal contact, start some action. Cubicle doors are often left open to invite the voyeur and the next participant into the established on-going action. The dark rooms specialize in men with their naked butts in the air inviting the next punter to use his ass for as long as he wants to. It's a high turnover affair with an unwritten law that sees many a participant notching up a considerable number of sexual encounters before considering cumming. It's about how many men ride the guy who wants to be gang-banged. About how many guys can I fuck in one night. It's about numbers rather than quality.

All photos courtesy tumblr
Exhibitionism is everywhere. It's not a time for the shy man - there's quite simply nowhere to hide. It's a great opportunity for the 'average' guy to get to see and play with guys who he would normally not get to first base with. It's frequently about whoever is next to you will do for the moment before moving on to the next opportunity. It's about hearing and watching sex taking place just as much as participating. It's an erotic and stimulating environment for the senses. The reality is that there are such events as these that you can participate in and not just fantasize about.

The event is also a sexual reality check. Is the reality of being nude in front of sixty or more guys uncomfortable or liberating? Is bareback sex going to give you guilt? Is the intimacy of one-on-one sex that takes time and includes conversation more satisfying than multiple anonymous encounters? Do poppers/amyl and/or alcohol assist in abandoning your inhibitions? When you give oral are you worried about where it might have just been (and I don't mean just freshly showered).

It's also about bareback sex and the issues especially for transmission of sexual infections. My observation is that while condoms are available, they're infrequently used. This means there's a higher risk than normal of going home with an extra unwanted STI (sexually transmitted infections) or crabs.

So if a sexual male play-space with so many uninhibited naked men as you can handle is what you're looking for, then check out the gay sauna/bathhouse in your city and chances are you'll find a night or afternoon where it's naked action. These events tend to attract a much higher number of men than on normal nights, and that can only mean a wider variety of like-minded guys are waiting for you to show-up and get your gear off too. Have fun!
Disclaimer: All advice and information given here on this blog is general in nature and non-specific to any individual, couple or group. You are encouraged to seek your own independent professional medical, psychological and counselling advice. No endorsement of unlawful actions is intended or implied  


A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man 

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! 

Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. 

It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest!

ebook download at:


THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews




Saturday, 21 May 2016

Cigars, Boots, Socks: M/M Sexual Images That Turn Us On

Our mainstream man-to-man sexual encounters in homes are generally totally naked affairs. Clothes off and into the action.

I was recently reminded of how limiting this is when a new trick (a married man) left his white socks on for our sex session. I had tried to take them off, but he indicated that it was a turn-on for him and made him feel much more masculine and hence, more horny. It was a hangover he said, from his teen years and later when we talked, it was also about not being 'totally naked' with another man. It was his oblique way of justifying to himself that he hadn't fully crossed over the forbidden line into 'gay' territory. Oh well, each to his own...

Surprisingly, his socks intrigued me. In my head, white socks are associated with sports, and that means athleticism, muscles, energy. Hence my imagination went in to overdrive giving me images that led me to believe that I was having sex with a much younger man who was very athletic. My sexual energy picked up and my enthusiasm grew as my imagination grew. Maybe there were deep-seated memories for me of watching locker-room porn, erotic stories about the coach and the young recruit, maybe it was my hot love affair with a tennis player years before. But whatever it was, it triggered some of the horniest sex I've recently had.

Who of us can resist a visual of a partially clothed workman, his muscles bulging, his body sweating and his big over-size workman's boots giving us a sense of rugged masculinity. I know I can't - and if that naked hunk is only wearing either just a hard-hat or a pair of huge boots then it's impossible not to become as horny as hell.

To some friends of mine, if you add a cigar and two day old stubble to that naked man then that is pure intoxication of manliness.

And why is it that speedos on a man at the beach always excites? It's the imagination of the voyeur wondering what the bulge might offer in the way of gratification should they have the opportunity to reveal it. Cut, uncut, long, thick, small, available - it's sex of the mind. It's safe, harmless and excites the groin for later sex with someone else.

Sex at the beats and cruising locations takes on an added dimension of danger, illicitness, urgency when trousers are dropped and oral or anal activities happen on that spot. The speedy need to pull them up should the occasion suddenly arise means that the window of opportunity might be a limited one. Therefore see and play quickly. Nothing turns a beat user on more than seeing sex taking place where a guy has his trousers around his ankles and has no means of running away. It's as if sex is nailed to the spot and it's not going to escape. It's yours merely by presenting your cock and showing that you're not a threat.

Other men I know love braces holding up trousers on older men. Another is turned on by a guy wearing frilly female underwear. Another enjoys men of any age in a leather harness. Others like a beard, nipple rings, black businessman's sox and suspenders, tattoos, natural man smells etc. It's all very personal and individual.

These all trigger a sexual response within the mind of the beholder. They're another reminder that sexual excitation is not necessarily all about nudity. It's about fun, about being turned on by trigger moments that probably give us an added burst of testosterone and hence, an added enthusiasm and energy for the sex session. Sometimes it's a reminder of previous sexual gratification that was in some way very meaningful for us, perhaps a reminder of someone in our life who gave us a safe haven and smelt or looked a particular way.
All photos this page courtesy Tumblr

And sometimes it's our new partner who can introduce us or re-introduce us, to something that will make that sex session memorable, or at least out-of-the-ordinary, just by not being totally naked.

If I'm asked to leave a particular item on during sex and it helps either of us to get more excited, then I'm all for it. The totally nude session can wait for next time!




A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man 

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! 

Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. 

It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest!

ebook download at:


THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews



Tuesday, 24 November 2015

A Colonoscopy: My Colorectal Cancer Check-up Experience



Recently I was asked by my doctor to undergo a colonoscopy. That is, he wanted me to have a camera inserted up my anal canal and through the large intestine to check out my colon and bowel areas for any potential medical issues that might be lurking there. The camera would be attached to a long flexible tube about the thickness of your finger. Any polyps would be removed so as to stop any growth in to potential cancers. The specialist would also indicate if the prostate was enlarged or causing any issues.

“Nothing serious” my doctor said, “just routine at your time of life” (read: any man over 50).

So why did I wince when he recommended it?  After all, anal insertion in to me isn’t foreign to my sexual activities. More likely it was because of the stories I’d heard about the preparation needed on the day before. Perhaps it was because the specialist could actually find something amiss up there. Or was it the talk about anal activity outside of a private sexual encounter and in the bright light of day that made me uncomfortable? And ‘no’ - it wasn’t about having a straight man and his female nursing assistants see me at my most vulnerable. They have a job to do and I’m not prudish in that regard – they are there to make sure that my health is paramount. But you can imagine their conversations over a few drinks about the more unusual patients can’t you!

In the days before the appointment I joked about having something longer than I’d previously encountered inside of me (though disappointed that I didn’t have a choice of width for the instrument). I would be totally sedated for the procedure so I guess it didn’t matter but I was hoping for that warm afterglow feeling when something a little too large has stretched the opening and left its calling card. Would I get a DVD of the journey inside me (I’m slightly curious about having a penis-eye view of what a sexual partner’s cock encounters) – and ‘no’ I didn’t ask for one and wasn’t offered one.

The day before my early Wednesday afternoon procedure was all about cleansing the colon. I had my last meal on the Monday evening, with breakfast and lunch on Tuesday limited to black tea/coffee, poached egg, boiled chicken and/or white bread or toast. As I needed to shed some tummy weight my thoughts about this strict diet were therefore all positive. By 5pm it was time to mix up half the cleansing sachets with water and settle in to drinking 500mls of the mixture within the hour followed by an additional 500mls of water during the next hour. I was surprised how enjoyable the lemon flavoured drink turned out to be and nothing like the chalky white concoction I was expecting. And of course, don’t go far from your toilet for those couple of hours. And I’m here to report that it was nowhere near as dire as the urban myths would have you believe. Between 7 and 10 the next morning I repeated the 1000mls procedure, followed from 10am with nothing at all to eat or drink.

At the hospital where I was to be the patient I was surprised (though shouldn’t have been) that just as many females were having the colonoscopy as were males. I was walked into the procedure room, climbed onto the bed, and for at least the third time answered all their questions about who I was, what I was doing there etc (very thorough). I had also expected to be in some type of stirrup arrangement possibly with my legs held wide open with my buttocks exposed for easy access. Instead I was asked to lie on my side more or less in the foetal position with my arm resting on the bed frame. With a small injection into the back of that hand I was out like a light.

I woke up in the recovery room, had a hot drink and a sandwich, and rested before being collected by my partner. What I noticed was that there was no nice feeling in my anal muscles, no feeling of having been penetrated as I do after good sex. Their professionalism and skills were evident in the way I felt. It was as if I’d just had a short sleep, and with a bit of additional rest in order to get my bearings (I was a bit light-headed from the anaesthetic) I’d be as good as new. The specialist visited and gave me my results - which indicated an ‘all clear’ result - and I was allowed to go home.

I now have this good feeling of KNOWING that my colon and bowel are in great shape and that there are no other hidden internal medical issues in that lower part of my body. The specialist also gave indications about the health of my prostate though he couldn't see it as it is on the other side of the colon lining. And that knowledge is a great feeling to have.

Would I have volunteered to have a colonoscopy without the insistence of my doctor? Probably not. The urban myths, the silence about bowel cancer and lack of knowledge about the procedure, the icky sound of it all, the lack of privacy during the procedure – they would have all kicked in to encourage me to avoid having it.

Don’t let that be you. Bowel and rectal cancer is a huge issue – and potential killer – for any man. I encourage you, particularly if you are over the age of 50, to take charge of your health and find out the state of health of your inner body system.

All photos courtesy of Tumblr
And while you are about it,
-       have both a digital rectal examination and a PSA blood test for your prostate, and
-       whatever your age, regularly (monthly) check your balls for any unusual lumps. Testicular cancer is also far too common.

Within the last month yet another mature age friend has been diagnosed and operated on for prostate cancer. He joins a long list of partners and friends who this has happened to and as a result their sex lives have often been irrevocably changed. So it does happen far too often in our community and it can happen to any one of us. Early diagnosis of some cancers can mean a complete cure.

So make a medical appointment TODAY and get your balls and bowels and prostate checked out so that you’ll have many more happy sexual years to enjoy. 





A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS: How And Where To Find Your Man 

When it is time to have sex with men, you need answers! 

Don't f**k up the potentially hottest sex time in your life by not knowing the facts. I'm the ex-married gay man who writes this blog, so I'm sharing my experiences with you in this easy-to-read ebook so that your sex with guys can be brilliant and always available. 

It's the best couple of dollars you'll ever invest!

ebook download at:


THE VERSATILE HUSBAND: Live Your Passion This is a more comprehensive version of A STRAIGHT MAN’S GUIDE TO SAME SEX HOOK-UPS and includes examining why as sexually frustrated men we feel the way we do and what can be done to improve the situation. Particularly useful for any married man who needs more detail  before deciding whether or not to sexually play with men.

e-book and paperback at Amazon.com or
paperback only at your favourite online or local bookstore.

For a plain unidentifiable eBook cover edition go tohttp://www.amazon.com/Versatile-Husband-Plain-Cover-ebook/dp/B009V5AXEI

"A straightforward, practical guide for men in heterosexual relationships who'd like to explore sex with other men. Frank, honest and understanding."Kirkus Reviews