Tuesday 24 November 2015

A Colonoscopy: My Colorectal Cancer Check-up Experience



Recently I was asked by my doctor to undergo a colonoscopy. That is, he wanted me to have a camera inserted up my anal canal and through the large intestine to check out my colon and bowel areas for any potential medical issues that might be lurking there. The camera would be attached to a long flexible tube about the thickness of your finger. Any polyps would be removed so as to stop any growth in to potential cancers. The specialist would also indicate if the prostate was enlarged or causing any issues.

“Nothing serious” my doctor said, “just routine at your time of life” (read: any man over 50).

So why did I wince when he recommended it?  After all, anal insertion in to me isn’t foreign to my sexual activities. More likely it was because of the stories I’d heard about the preparation needed on the day before. Perhaps it was because the specialist could actually find something amiss up there. Or was it the talk about anal activity outside of a private sexual encounter and in the bright light of day that made me uncomfortable? And ‘no’ - it wasn’t about having a straight man and his female nursing assistants see me at my most vulnerable. They have a job to do and I’m not prudish in that regard – they are there to make sure that my health is paramount. But you can imagine their conversations over a few drinks about the more unusual patients can’t you!

In the days before the appointment I joked about having something longer than I’d previously encountered inside of me (though disappointed that I didn’t have a choice of width for the instrument). I would be totally sedated for the procedure so I guess it didn’t matter but I was hoping for that warm afterglow feeling when something a little too large has stretched the opening and left its calling card. Would I get a DVD of the journey inside me (I’m slightly curious about having a penis-eye view of what a sexual partner’s cock encounters) – and ‘no’ I didn’t ask for one and wasn’t offered one.

The day before my early Wednesday afternoon procedure was all about cleansing the colon. I had my last meal on the Monday evening, with breakfast and lunch on Tuesday limited to black tea/coffee, poached egg, boiled chicken and/or white bread or toast. As I needed to shed some tummy weight my thoughts about this strict diet were therefore all positive. By 5pm it was time to mix up half the cleansing sachets with water and settle in to drinking 500mls of the mixture within the hour followed by an additional 500mls of water during the next hour. I was surprised how enjoyable the lemon flavoured drink turned out to be and nothing like the chalky white concoction I was expecting. And of course, don’t go far from your toilet for those couple of hours. And I’m here to report that it was nowhere near as dire as the urban myths would have you believe. Between 7 and 10 the next morning I repeated the 1000mls procedure, followed from 10am with nothing at all to eat or drink.

At the hospital where I was to be the patient I was surprised (though shouldn’t have been) that just as many females were having the colonoscopy as were males. I was walked into the procedure room, climbed onto the bed, and for at least the third time answered all their questions about who I was, what I was doing there etc (very thorough). I had also expected to be in some type of stirrup arrangement possibly with my legs held wide open with my buttocks exposed for easy access. Instead I was asked to lie on my side more or less in the foetal position with my arm resting on the bed frame. With a small injection into the back of that hand I was out like a light.

I woke up in the recovery room, had a hot drink and a sandwich, and rested before being collected by my partner. What I noticed was that there was no nice feeling in my anal muscles, no feeling of having been penetrated as I do after good sex. Their professionalism and skills were evident in the way I felt. It was as if I’d just had a short sleep, and with a bit of additional rest in order to get my bearings (I was a bit light-headed from the anaesthetic) I’d be as good as new. The specialist visited and gave me my results - which indicated an ‘all clear’ result - and I was allowed to go home.

I now have this good feeling of KNOWING that my colon and bowel are in great shape and that there are no other hidden internal medical issues in that lower part of my body. The specialist also gave indications about the health of my prostate though he couldn't see it as it is on the other side of the colon lining. And that knowledge is a great feeling to have.

Would I have volunteered to have a colonoscopy without the insistence of my doctor? Probably not. The urban myths, the silence about bowel cancer and lack of knowledge about the procedure, the icky sound of it all, the lack of privacy during the procedure – they would have all kicked in to encourage me to avoid having it.

Don’t let that be you. Bowel and rectal cancer is a huge issue – and potential killer – for any man. I encourage you, particularly if you are over the age of 50, to take charge of your health and find out the state of health of your inner body system.

All photos courtesy of Tumblr
And while you are about it,
-       have both a digital rectal examination and a PSA blood test for your prostate, and
-       whatever your age, regularly (monthly) check your balls for any unusual lumps. Testicular cancer is also far too common.

Within the last month yet another mature age friend has been diagnosed and operated on for prostate cancer. He joins a long list of partners and friends who this has happened to and as a result their sex lives have often been irrevocably changed. So it does happen far too often in our community and it can happen to any one of us. Early diagnosis of some cancers can mean a complete cure.

So make a medical appointment TODAY and get your balls and bowels and prostate checked out so that you’ll have many more happy sexual years to enjoy. 





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